Concentration and memory...what was the question, again?

It's funny...here I've got all the time in the world to read the many books that are piled by my chair, just waiting to be picked up and read. Rich keeps adding his own "must read" books to my pile, but with "chemo brain" enshrouding my mind, I don't have the concentration necessary to read for any length of time. Even reading the paper can be a struggle to get through, as my mind loses interest quickly and wants to move on to something else. Or take a nap. Multi-tasking is not a good idea, either, even though I do seem to flit from one thing to another when on my steroids. But that would require too much concentration to see any one thing through (although I really can't blame this on chemo brain), and who knows how many things Rich would come home to find unfinished.

So I keep myself busy knitting while watching movies via Netflix. And my current knitting project is the PROJECT FROM HELL so far! I'm trying to knit a simple vest, with a yarn that is inconsistent in weight...it has thick slubs as well as thin strands to it, so will be very chunky when finished. However, because of this variance, it doesn't knit to scale and I have taken it apart FOUR times now, after reaching the midway point of the back of the vest. I have finally re-written the directions, which is very daring of me because I am NOT an experienced knitter. Scarves, mittens and felted purses are my claim to fame in the knitting world. But I am determined to make this vest work, even if it kills me! I'm already envisioning myself wearing it proudly (it'll look so cute with my red hair), so with all the concentration I can muster, I WILL finish this knitting project!

Do they make flavored cotton balls?

Now that my food cravings have finally gone away, my mouth feels as if it's filled with cotton balls. Everything is so dry now, and I can't seem to drink enough water to make any difference. I've got the chapstick handy to keep my lips from drying out, but my nose feels as parched as the Sahara Desert. Add to that the sweetish, metalic taste I now have again and you've got the picture...not much tastes good anymore! It's a good thing, too, as I was worried I was going to turn into a blimp after this weekend's munchie attacks. But I was pleasantly surprised when I weighed in before my chemo infusion today...I hadn't gained a pound!

Tacos and chilis and dips, oh my!

One of the downsides of my being on steroids these first five days of having my "nasty chemo", is that I have the munchies like crazy! And with it being Super Bowl weekend, all the advertisers and talk shows seem to be showing as many snacks and foods to make your Super Bowl Party a success as possible. And I am craving ALL OF IT!

At 9:30 yesterday morning, after eating my healthy bowl of cereal with banana slices, I was discovered happily dipping my tostito chips into a jar of salsa by my daughter, Anne, who just laughed and said that at least part of it was healthy! But later that morning I had cravings for chips and dip, as well as bagels and cream cheese so Anne sweetly went to the grocery store to feed my newest cravings, as well (she actually was thinking that sounded pretty good, too). It's like being pregnant again! Nothing sweet has any appeal, because I can't really taste sweet very well with my metallic taste being back. But anything that is salty, or tomatoey, or cheesy....watch out! Have you seen the commercial for those fried cheese sticks that you dip in pizza sauce.....ooooh, baby do those look good!

Fortunately, I'll be done with the steroids tonite, and should be back to "normal" tomorrow. I'll also probably be feeling icky instead, but at least those Super Bowl ads won't have their hold on me anymore, thank goodness!

I don't want to go to the vet!

That's what Rich and I say whenever we have to go to a doctor's appointment we don't want to go to. It's in reference to our previous dog, Boots, who instinctively knew whenever we were taking her to the vet, and shook all the way there! Today was my second "big nasty" chemo, and even though I knew what to expect this time, I still had butterflies in the pit of my stomach as we drove to my appointment. No matter how brave I may think I am, the bottom line is that I am waging a chemical warfare on my body.

I saw my oncologist before my infusions today. She checked me out physically, and then told me that all of my blood work is great, which means my organs (liver and kidneys, specifically) are not being affected by the chemo. Whew! She said that all of my itching and rash were most likely due to the steroids and taxotere (one of my "big nasty" chemos), and to take benadryl orally and also as a cream. Which is exactly what I did, and it helped.

Rich thinks my skin is a different color now, compared to when I went in for my infusion this morning. I don't see it, but I wouldn't be surprised. I hope I don't turn into a little GREEN alien, though! I'm sure that the rest of my hair will fall out, now that I've had my second round. I think I'm getting used to seeing myself bald now...it doesn't shock me anymore when I see myself in the mirror. And I really don't mind wearing hats and wigs, though I know that I would feel differently if it was hot, rather than cold, outside. I still need to get Rich to take pictures of me with my new looks so that I can post them for you. We'll work on that soon.

In the meantime, I need another nap!

Old habits are hard to break

I've got to admit, this having no hair to wash or style is the greatest! But old habits are hard to break...I still reach up to wring my hair out before stepping out of the shower, and then I'm ready to grab the hairdryer to dry my hair. Between not needing to shave my legs anymore and no hair to wash, showers are short and sweet! The whole "getting ready" process is short and sweet! All I have to do now is put my face and my eyes on, swipe some lipstick on my lips, and then decide which wig or hat I'm going to wear!

And wearing a wig is a snap...all I do is shake it out, plop it on my head, make sure it's on straight, fix the bangs and away I go! No more bad hair days! I went back to the wig shop today to get them adjusted and trimmed a little. One needed the back shortened (it had the Carol Brady look going on) and the other needed to be taken in a little (I have a small head!) and the bangs trimmed so that I could see. Now they fit perfectly and I'm ready to go! I'll have Rich take some pictures of me in them, and post them (if I can figure that out) for you to see.