Saturday morning I hosted a coffee at my house. Invited, were three women who also have had breast cancer, gone through chemo, lost their hair, and waited expectantly for it to grow back in. And then the unexpected happened...it didn't. No one tells you that possibility before you start chemo. I can understand why...it would probably deter many more people from undergoing chemo, given the side effects we already hear about. But it makes me wonder just how many other women are out there who's hair has not grown back, and are hiding beneath their wigs.
We spent the morning getting to know each other...laughing together, as well as sharing cancer and treatment stories. It was a wonderful feeling being able to talk freely with eachother, knowing that we all totally understood and empathized with the cancer journeys we had each embarked on, and the shock and disappointment we each had felt when our hair did not grow back as expected. I greeted them at the door bare-headed, which I think surprised them. But by the end of our visit they each, singly, took their wigs off so that we could compare hair...or should I say lack of hair...and wigs with each other. We learned alot about, and from, eachother.
What's interesting is that none of us is completely bald...our hair is just very, very thin and wispy...nothing you could style in any way. They've grown their hair out, while I've kept my hair very short all over. They've been post-chemo for two to four years, while I am just a year this month. We all had different chemo "cocktails" and some had radiation as well. There was no common denominator between us, other than cancer itself. We are just part of the unlucky 10% whose hair doesn't grow back after chemo.
We all have grieved for our hair in different ways. We have tried lotions and potions and vitamins and special ionized hair brushes and stimulating head massages. Anything that sounded in the least bit viable, we have tried. Some have seen a little improvement, but for the most part, our hair remains the same...thin. Even our eyelashes, and eyebrows...thin (or almost non-existent). But at least those can be colored in...or tatooed. That was a whole other discussion...
What impressed me the most about our being together was the bond that was immediately felt by all of us. We were brought together by coincidence and fate, and became instant sisters because of it. We share a common positive attitude and curiosity, and have each turned our own "lemons" into "lemonade". I am thankful to have found these wonderful women to share my latest journey with, and know that we will continue to meet and encourage eachother, as well as any others who may come our way.
Before they left, I gave each of them a pair of "diamond" earrings...some "bling" to wear. I told them that we all need a little "bling" in our lives, especially when we're in the midst of the dark days of cancer, treatment or hair loss. This has become my new mission...to try and brighten the days of other women who are going through cancer or treatment with the simple gift of "bling". And it worked with them...they were all smiles.
