I know that some of you have taken my daughters or Rich aside and asked them, "how is she really doing?", and they have answered truthfully that I'm doing fine. And I am...really. But I have to admit that my lack of real hair is starting to get to me.
I know that the dermatologist said positive things to me, and I'm hopeful that her predictions are true. But I was at a lovely event last Friday night with other breast cancer/chemo survivors, and it didn't have the positive effect on me that I had expected. Instead, I came home kind of depressed. It's not that I didn't enjoy visiting with everyone...that was wonderful. These women are all "warriors" and we're all there for eachother. But what depressed me was their hair...lots of it. Specifically, on the two women who finished chemo within a month of me. I'm thrilled for them, and so glad to see them happy and feeling "normal" again. But a little voice inside my head kept saying, "why can't I have hair, too?"
In my googling, I've read that there is a small percentage of women whose hair does not grow back as thick or full as before. I've met two women within the past month who fit that description, and I'm wondering if I will be one of them. While sitting in church this morning, with my hat off and all my little hairs exposed, I decided that if this is yet another way for me to pave the way for others, then l will do it with style. I will keep my hair very short all over, rather than have a woman's version of a "comb-over", and I will continue to wear cute hats and accessories. And I will remember that the positive side to not having much hair is that it's a snap to get ready in the morning!
I'm still hoping that my hair is just slow in coming in...it really has grown quite a bit in the past two weeks. You can actually see it now. I'm just hopeful that it starts to fill in, regardless of color or texture. In the meantime, I guess I could get some of that spray paint for hair, that used to be advertised for balding men, and fill in the bare spots!
Sending you hugs and prayers-I know that hair isn't the world's biggest issue-but it sure is when it isn't on your head. Mine took a year to start whispering back and then a stylist accidentally cut one side off...oops just didn't describe how I felt. Keep with your dignity and grace and this too will pass. Shae
ReplyDeleteI can't believe how much it has been growing these last few weeks... you're doing all the right things! Keep popping those pre-natals and it'll be thicker before you know it. :) Love you!
ReplyDeleteStay positive! I had my last treatment May 1st, and it took forever to shed the wig. It was very slow growing, and is still too short for me. I had done some research and it said it was the change in the amounts of estrogen. It will come back. It either grows, or doesn't grow and it sounds like yours is growing! It will just take longer. I do feel for you. The hair thing drove me crazy.
ReplyDeleteI love your attitude, and please don't feel bad about what you call a "pity party". You are such an inspiration and are beautiful with or without hair. I do know how much we all love looking our best and I'll be thinking and praying "hair" for you.
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