This morning I have an appointment to see my oncologist and then get my chemo infusion. It's so nice to only be going every three weeks now, rather than weekly. It seems like a long time has passed, and a lot has happened, since my last infusion. My port has been cleaned out and I now have a new "girl"...all that in three weeks time! I'm feeling a little anxious, however, and am hoping that my port will be good to me today, but I'm taking a book and snack bars, just in case.
I continue to feel better and better! My energy level is returning in leaps and bounds (I'm walking 3 miles again, and played 9 holes of golf with a cart last week), my muscle stiffness is pretty much gone, my taste buds and appetite are back to normal, my water retention went away as did the extra pounds I gained, and the hair on my head is slowly coming back (no sign of eyelashes/brows yet). I still have the tearing eyes, but it is definately slowing down, finally. It's mostly just my right eye now, which is how it all started out, so I'm hoping that this means I'm nearing the end. In anticipation of having dry eyes again, I bought fake "glamour" eyelashes yesterday! I can hardly wait to try them and see how they look!
The funny thing about my feeling so good and much like my old self again is that I forget that I still don't LOOK like my old self, and so am always surprised by the person who greets me in the mirror! I'm not embarrassed anymore by my hairlessness, I just totally forget how others perceive me. I get special smiles or treatment from people in stores, which then reminds me that, oh yeah, I'm the woman with cancer. It doesn't upset me to be reminded of that...it just surprises me because in my own mind I'm not there anymore...I've moved on and feel healthy and spunky again!
I have discovered that I have developed a new fetish due to my baldness, however. Hats! Since I rarely wear my wigs anymore (Rich really prefers that I don't wear them...they're not "me"), I need hats! Even though my small head makes it a challenge to find them to fit me, I've managed to acquire quite a collection of them! But as I told Rich, it's like shoes...one color/style doesn't go with every outfit, you need variety! And we all know it's all about accessories! This weekend I discovered a trick to make my looser hats fit better...velcro! No, not on my head, as Rich suggested, but inside the brims of the hats. I glued just the soft, fuzzy half of the velcro around the inside of the hats and it provides just enough thickness to make them fit tighter! Yay! Now they don't slip over my eyes anymore!
Now that it's warm out, I'm driving my convertible more. I wasn't sure if I would want to drive it, being bald, and I was worried about my hats blowing off. But so far, my hats are staying on just fine, and I actually take them off sometimes because they can just be too hot to wear. So if you see a little bald-headed lady driving a cute, white convertible that's me! Now I just need to be sure to put sunscreen on my head so that my "virgin" skin doesn't burn! In the meantime, I seem to be acquiring freckles, as fill in for my hair!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Turn about is fair play!
I played 9 holes of golf last weekend and Marcia rode in the cart with me. On the 15th hole, I was leaning over to pick up a ball and she mentioned how much hair I had lost in the last few months (thanks for noticing!). I have seen the same trend in the morning mirror but have tried to ignore it. Don’t worry, my health is just fine.
I did, however, tell Marcia I partially blame her for my hair loss. I think the financial crisis over the last fifteen months also had a little something to do with it. The difference between her hair loss and mine is that her hair is growing back. I’m not quite as confident about mine. I guess she can get used to me with less hair as I have with her.
We are looking forward to a 2 week car vacation visiting family in upper New York State, then a tour through Ontario north and east of Lake Huron, a visit to Mackinac Island, and a couple days of golf and relaxation with old friends. We just realized Marcia has not had a night away from home in about six months. We love road trips and plan to leave the e-mail and voice mails at home. Life returning to normal sure feels good!
I did, however, tell Marcia I partially blame her for my hair loss. I think the financial crisis over the last fifteen months also had a little something to do with it. The difference between her hair loss and mine is that her hair is growing back. I’m not quite as confident about mine. I guess she can get used to me with less hair as I have with her.
We are looking forward to a 2 week car vacation visiting family in upper New York State, then a tour through Ontario north and east of Lake Huron, a visit to Mackinac Island, and a couple days of golf and relaxation with old friends. We just realized Marcia has not had a night away from home in about six months. We love road trips and plan to leave the e-mail and voice mails at home. Life returning to normal sure feels good!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
I'm living in the middle of Michigan Outdoors!
We live in the middle of 3 acres of wooded property, and over the years we have seen our share of wild animals. There have been the turkey families, who have sometimes defied me as I attempted to drive up to my garage; the moles, leaving lovely "soft spots" in our yard where their tunnels are; the squirrels, enjoying the bounty of acorns from our oak trees and helping to plant more; the deer, transforming my hostas into yucca-like plants after eating all the flowers and leaving just the stems; Chuck, the woodchuck, sunbathing on my deck when not eating my cone flowers (he sits on his haunches and eats, reminding me of Bugs Bunny eating a carrot); and now we have Fred, the red fox, living under our front deck, who we found out recently is really Fredrika because she has babies!
We've seen Fred off and on over the past two years, but Pearl is who discovered her babies for us. She and I had been hearing soft bumping noises under the deck when sitting in the kitchen. She decided to take a look out the kitchen door to the deck, and lo and behold, there were three fox babies playing in the ground cover! Pearl went crazy! I managed to catch her and gate her in the back hall so that I could watch. They were about the size of a beany baby and they played and rolled around like little puppies. We saw them off and on for about a week. Fred would leave treasures for them to eat (once we saw a rabbit leg, another time a squirrel tail and torso) at the "door" to their hideaway. But Pearl's barking must have finally spooked them because Fred eventually moved them to the woodpile in the backyard.
Nighttime is when we hear Fred and/or her mate. They are nocturnal animals, and so are out hunting in the woods when it's time for me to let Pearl out for her last potty break (don't worry, she's on a chain). Foxes make the creepiest sound...it's a very raspy, throaty bark. Fred doesn't come close, she just walks the perimeters of our yard, barking at us. I had no idea that foxes made any sound at all, until I googled "creepy night barking" and red foxes was one of the animals that came up. When I clicked on the YouTube video, I immediately saw and heard a fox barking like Fred does! Even knowing what the bark is, I still don't like it and always go outside with Pearl at night, armed with my weapon-like flash light that I shine out in the woods! When I've caught Fred in the light, her eyes glowed red....euwwwwww!
It didn't take long for the fox family to miss the spaciousness of our deck, so they soon moved back. And suddenly I counted FOUR babies, instead of three. And then in another week or so, while watching the four of them play (my living room chair is a front row seat to watch them), I noticed another head poke out from under the deck...a FIFTH baby! By now my plants are getting destroyed by their antics, as they think our deck and surrounding ground cover are their own personal playground! We have a three-tiered fountain that we haven't taken the cover off of yet, because they think it's a jungle gym for them and we can only imagine how much more fun splashing in the water would be!
In the meantime, poor Pearl has been going crazy with these babies always around. She spends her days going from window to window, looking for them, and when they're around she is beside herself. And as much as I enjoy watching them (they're so dang cute), they're upsetting the balance of our happy home. So on Thursday, I called animal control.
My first question I asked was do they catch and release, to which she said yes. Good. But when I told her what kind of animals I wanted caught, there was a pause, and then she said she didn't know of anyone who has ever caught red foxes because most people like having them around to catch mice and other small pesky animals. But she was excited and wanted to take the challenge! So out she came with five large cages, which she baited with cat food, sardines, and dead mice! She put them near each opening we found by the deck and told me to call her if we caught any before she came back to check on them later in the day. That night I had a hard time sleeping...I felt so guilty betraying my babies!
Well, there's a reason for the saying, "sly as a fox", because the foxes outsmarted us! They took one look at the cages, and got out of town! They didn't touch the yummy food (except for one can of cat food that was set out on the deck and not in a cage...they took off with that one!), they just decided to relocate again. I did catch them on the deck on Friday when I came home from doing errands, but the babies just made a dive for under the deck, and Fred calmly walked out in the yard, watching me (in the car). I rolled down my window and told her to take her babies and run for it...I really didn't want them to get caught, I just want them out from under my deck!
On Monday, we surrendered and the traps were all taken away. We didn't catch the foxes, but hopefully we've caused them to relocate permanently somewhere else. In the meantime, I've ordered a couple of solar and ultrasonic animal repellers that I'll put out in the yard and hope that helps deter the foxes, and also the deer. We still hear Fred at night barking at us, but maybe these will help keep her from coming close again. Who's out-foxing who?!
We've seen Fred off and on over the past two years, but Pearl is who discovered her babies for us. She and I had been hearing soft bumping noises under the deck when sitting in the kitchen. She decided to take a look out the kitchen door to the deck, and lo and behold, there were three fox babies playing in the ground cover! Pearl went crazy! I managed to catch her and gate her in the back hall so that I could watch. They were about the size of a beany baby and they played and rolled around like little puppies. We saw them off and on for about a week. Fred would leave treasures for them to eat (once we saw a rabbit leg, another time a squirrel tail and torso) at the "door" to their hideaway. But Pearl's barking must have finally spooked them because Fred eventually moved them to the woodpile in the backyard.
Nighttime is when we hear Fred and/or her mate. They are nocturnal animals, and so are out hunting in the woods when it's time for me to let Pearl out for her last potty break (don't worry, she's on a chain). Foxes make the creepiest sound...it's a very raspy, throaty bark. Fred doesn't come close, she just walks the perimeters of our yard, barking at us. I had no idea that foxes made any sound at all, until I googled "creepy night barking" and red foxes was one of the animals that came up. When I clicked on the YouTube video, I immediately saw and heard a fox barking like Fred does! Even knowing what the bark is, I still don't like it and always go outside with Pearl at night, armed with my weapon-like flash light that I shine out in the woods! When I've caught Fred in the light, her eyes glowed red....euwwwwww!
It didn't take long for the fox family to miss the spaciousness of our deck, so they soon moved back. And suddenly I counted FOUR babies, instead of three. And then in another week or so, while watching the four of them play (my living room chair is a front row seat to watch them), I noticed another head poke out from under the deck...a FIFTH baby! By now my plants are getting destroyed by their antics, as they think our deck and surrounding ground cover are their own personal playground! We have a three-tiered fountain that we haven't taken the cover off of yet, because they think it's a jungle gym for them and we can only imagine how much more fun splashing in the water would be!
In the meantime, poor Pearl has been going crazy with these babies always around. She spends her days going from window to window, looking for them, and when they're around she is beside herself. And as much as I enjoy watching them (they're so dang cute), they're upsetting the balance of our happy home. So on Thursday, I called animal control.
My first question I asked was do they catch and release, to which she said yes. Good. But when I told her what kind of animals I wanted caught, there was a pause, and then she said she didn't know of anyone who has ever caught red foxes because most people like having them around to catch mice and other small pesky animals. But she was excited and wanted to take the challenge! So out she came with five large cages, which she baited with cat food, sardines, and dead mice! She put them near each opening we found by the deck and told me to call her if we caught any before she came back to check on them later in the day. That night I had a hard time sleeping...I felt so guilty betraying my babies!
Well, there's a reason for the saying, "sly as a fox", because the foxes outsmarted us! They took one look at the cages, and got out of town! They didn't touch the yummy food (except for one can of cat food that was set out on the deck and not in a cage...they took off with that one!), they just decided to relocate again. I did catch them on the deck on Friday when I came home from doing errands, but the babies just made a dive for under the deck, and Fred calmly walked out in the yard, watching me (in the car). I rolled down my window and told her to take her babies and run for it...I really didn't want them to get caught, I just want them out from under my deck!
On Monday, we surrendered and the traps were all taken away. We didn't catch the foxes, but hopefully we've caused them to relocate permanently somewhere else. In the meantime, I've ordered a couple of solar and ultrasonic animal repellers that I'll put out in the yard and hope that helps deter the foxes, and also the deer. We still hear Fred at night barking at us, but maybe these will help keep her from coming close again. Who's out-foxing who?!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Bombs away, she's feeling fine!
That's what Jill's fancy new phone thought she said when she attempted to voice command text this morning after my surgery! What she really said was "Mom's okay, she's feeling fine"! And it's true, all went well and I'm feeling swell (the drugs made me say that)!
We had to be at the hospital by 6:45 this morning. It's pretty sad that I didn't have to show my driver's license to the girls at the front desk when I checked in because they already knew who I was! I wish it was because I'm so memorable, not because I've had a few surgeries there! Actually, they do remember me from when I volunteered in the Surgery Waiting Room a few years ago, but I know that my frequent "visits" there help keep me fresh in their minds.
Anyway, everything went on time...in fact, they were ready ahead of time and anxious for the nurse to hurry up and get me hooked up with my IV so they could wheel me away (don't worry, she didn't rush through anything)! Dr. Dodde came in first and drew diagrams all over my chest as he explained my surgery again. With saline implants, the actual implant is not inflated when inserted and is much smaller and easier to insert than a silicone implant (which would be full of the silicone before inserting). Once inside me, the implant is filled with saline until the proper size is achieved. Then they sew me up again and put me in another corset-like bra again, which I have to wear until my post-op appointment next week. The surgery took about an hour, and after I was able to eat my toast and drink my oj I was allowed to go home.
So far, I'm feeling absolutely no pain or discomfort, other than a slightly sore throat from the breathing tube during surgery (I've been coughing and clearing my throat alot to clear my chest). I seem to be well matched now, but I won't be able to actually see "the girls" for a few days yet when I'm allowed to take my corset off and shower!
Well, I'm a little sleepy, and a nap is next on my agenda (Rich and Jill are already napping...what's wrong with this picture?!). I know I'll have sweet dreams now that my surgery is behind me. One more thing to cross off my list!
We had to be at the hospital by 6:45 this morning. It's pretty sad that I didn't have to show my driver's license to the girls at the front desk when I checked in because they already knew who I was! I wish it was because I'm so memorable, not because I've had a few surgeries there! Actually, they do remember me from when I volunteered in the Surgery Waiting Room a few years ago, but I know that my frequent "visits" there help keep me fresh in their minds.
Anyway, everything went on time...in fact, they were ready ahead of time and anxious for the nurse to hurry up and get me hooked up with my IV so they could wheel me away (don't worry, she didn't rush through anything)! Dr. Dodde came in first and drew diagrams all over my chest as he explained my surgery again. With saline implants, the actual implant is not inflated when inserted and is much smaller and easier to insert than a silicone implant (which would be full of the silicone before inserting). Once inside me, the implant is filled with saline until the proper size is achieved. Then they sew me up again and put me in another corset-like bra again, which I have to wear until my post-op appointment next week. The surgery took about an hour, and after I was able to eat my toast and drink my oj I was allowed to go home.
So far, I'm feeling absolutely no pain or discomfort, other than a slightly sore throat from the breathing tube during surgery (I've been coughing and clearing my throat alot to clear my chest). I seem to be well matched now, but I won't be able to actually see "the girls" for a few days yet when I'm allowed to take my corset off and shower!
Well, I'm a little sleepy, and a nap is next on my agenda (Rich and Jill are already napping...what's wrong with this picture?!). I know I'll have sweet dreams now that my surgery is behind me. One more thing to cross off my list!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Yippee...we have blood!
The last three times that I have had chemo, my port has given me trouble again. It flushes beautifully, but when we try to draw blood from it, we're unsuccessful, most likely due to a clot in the port. My nurse then injects my port with heparin, which is a blood thinner, and then every half hour, she tries to draw blood. This past Tuesday I was at the clinic for an additional three hours before we finally drew blood from my port!
With my implant surgery coming up on Monday, I asked my nurse if I should ask my surgeon about the possibility of replacing or cleaning my port at the same time, and she told me it was worth asking about since it's been giving us so much trouble. So I scooted over to my surgeon's office after I was done with chemo and posed my question to his nurse, who said she would talk to the doctor and get back to me the next morning. When she called, she told me that surgery was not an option yet; that they needed me to have an ultrasound of my port first, to determine what was wrong. She was able to arrange that for the following day.
On Thursday afternoon I went to the hospital where they injected my port with dye and then slid me under the ultrasound scanner so they could see what was going on with my port. They were able to see that I have a little "flap" at the entry of my port, which is a glob of blood that is causing the blockage. The flap gets pushed out of the way when my port is flushed, but when drawing blood the suction brings the flap up into the opening, thus blocking it. Aha! It was then explained to me that there were two ways they could try to dislodge the flap. The first option would be to inject my port with a very strong dose of heparin and allow it to stay in my port for 24 hours before trying to draw blood. The next option, if that didn't work, would be to go up through a vein in my groin and pull the flap out. Ugh.
I had the strong dose of heparin injected in my port that afternoon, and then was asked to come back on Friday afternoon so they could see if it worked. I am pleased to say that when I went back to the hospital and they pulled back the syringe that was in my port, we saw beautiful, dark red blood immediately! Yippee! My port is working again!
With my implant surgery coming up on Monday, I asked my nurse if I should ask my surgeon about the possibility of replacing or cleaning my port at the same time, and she told me it was worth asking about since it's been giving us so much trouble. So I scooted over to my surgeon's office after I was done with chemo and posed my question to his nurse, who said she would talk to the doctor and get back to me the next morning. When she called, she told me that surgery was not an option yet; that they needed me to have an ultrasound of my port first, to determine what was wrong. She was able to arrange that for the following day.
On Thursday afternoon I went to the hospital where they injected my port with dye and then slid me under the ultrasound scanner so they could see what was going on with my port. They were able to see that I have a little "flap" at the entry of my port, which is a glob of blood that is causing the blockage. The flap gets pushed out of the way when my port is flushed, but when drawing blood the suction brings the flap up into the opening, thus blocking it. Aha! It was then explained to me that there were two ways they could try to dislodge the flap. The first option would be to inject my port with a very strong dose of heparin and allow it to stay in my port for 24 hours before trying to draw blood. The next option, if that didn't work, would be to go up through a vein in my groin and pull the flap out. Ugh.
I had the strong dose of heparin injected in my port that afternoon, and then was asked to come back on Friday afternoon so they could see if it worked. I am pleased to say that when I went back to the hospital and they pulled back the syringe that was in my port, we saw beautiful, dark red blood immediately! Yippee! My port is working again!
Friday, June 4, 2010
Guess who's in the funny pages!
My chemo journey has been interesting, to say the least, but there have been some bright spots along the way. One of them was when Rich forwarded my blog, "Look good, feel better", to someone at the Grand Rapids area American Cancer Society (ACS) because he felt they would appreciate hearing from a participant about how special their program was for chemo patients. They liked it so much that it was published in their national newsletter to members of ACS! I was so flattered!
And then this week I learned from the ACS that Sunday is National Cancer Survivors' Day, and that the Grand Rapids Press is doing an article featuring area survivors. When someone from the Press called the ACS for names of cancer survivors they could interview, mine was one of several suggested. And it turns out that I was one of only five selected! I did a phone interview yesterday and hope I came across all right. I was more talkative than I thought I would be and one never knows how the spoken word will turn out when written! They were going to have a photographer from the Press take my picture this morning but it didn't work out, so the photo that was taken of me at the studio (for Relay for Life) will be used instead. Again, I'm very flattered by it all!
So this Sunday, look for the article on cancer survivors in the Grand Rapids Press! Hopefully the reporter did me justice and I won't be relegated to the funny pages!
And then this week I learned from the ACS that Sunday is National Cancer Survivors' Day, and that the Grand Rapids Press is doing an article featuring area survivors. When someone from the Press called the ACS for names of cancer survivors they could interview, mine was one of several suggested. And it turns out that I was one of only five selected! I did a phone interview yesterday and hope I came across all right. I was more talkative than I thought I would be and one never knows how the spoken word will turn out when written! They were going to have a photographer from the Press take my picture this morning but it didn't work out, so the photo that was taken of me at the studio (for Relay for Life) will be used instead. Again, I'm very flattered by it all!
So this Sunday, look for the article on cancer survivors in the Grand Rapids Press! Hopefully the reporter did me justice and I won't be relegated to the funny pages!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Saline vs silicone
My implant surgery is fast approaching (June 14) and I had to make a decision as to which kind of implant I wanted so they could order it for me...saline filled or silicone filled. I've really struggled with this, as I want to make sure I choose what is best for me. I want the one that requires the least amount of worry or maintenance, as I've already had enough worry and maintenance issues to last a lifetime!
One of the main differences in the implants is how they feel. The saline implants tend to feel hard (like rocks, according to one friend) and the silicone implants are said to have a more natural feel to them. Which would make me inclined to go with the silicone. However, I have to consider the possibility of the implant rupturing, and what issues I would have to address with that. I googled the Mayo Clinic on what they had to say about implants and they restated that it was never proved that leaking silicone from implants caused any health issues, such as cancer, so from that viewpoint, both types of implant are equally safe to use. However, dealing with a ruptured implant is quite different between the two of them. Here is what the Mayo Clinic had to say:
"When a breast implant is placed in your body, a fibrous capsule of scar tissue typically forms around the implant. If a silicone breast implant ruptures, you may not notice right away — or ever. For that reason, the Food and Drug Administration recommends monitoring silicone breast implants with routine MRI scans every two years, starting three years after the initial implant surgery."
"If a silicone breast implant ruptures, the leaking silicone gel may cause inflammation of the fibrous capsule and the formation of additional scar tissue. The result may be a hard capsule around the breast implant that may distort the shape of your breast and cause pain or discomfort. If this happens, you'll need surgery to remove the ruptured implant. A new implant can likely be inserted at the same time."
"If a saline breast implant ruptures, the implant will deflate — causing the affected breast to change in size and shape. The leaking saline solution will be absorbed by your body without posing any health risks, but you'll probably need surgery to remove the silicone shell. A new implant can likely be inserted at the same time."
After reading both of these explanations, I have come to a decision...SALINE! It seems to have the least issues to deal with, and that's what I'm looking for. Neither option lasts a lifetime, so I know I'm looking at another surgery, ten or more years down the road to replace it. In the meantime, I hope you never see me looking lopsided. If you do, it'll mean I've deflated and I really don't want that to happen!
One of the main differences in the implants is how they feel. The saline implants tend to feel hard (like rocks, according to one friend) and the silicone implants are said to have a more natural feel to them. Which would make me inclined to go with the silicone. However, I have to consider the possibility of the implant rupturing, and what issues I would have to address with that. I googled the Mayo Clinic on what they had to say about implants and they restated that it was never proved that leaking silicone from implants caused any health issues, such as cancer, so from that viewpoint, both types of implant are equally safe to use. However, dealing with a ruptured implant is quite different between the two of them. Here is what the Mayo Clinic had to say:
"When a breast implant is placed in your body, a fibrous capsule of scar tissue typically forms around the implant. If a silicone breast implant ruptures, you may not notice right away — or ever. For that reason, the Food and Drug Administration recommends monitoring silicone breast implants with routine MRI scans every two years, starting three years after the initial implant surgery."
"If a silicone breast implant ruptures, the leaking silicone gel may cause inflammation of the fibrous capsule and the formation of additional scar tissue. The result may be a hard capsule around the breast implant that may distort the shape of your breast and cause pain or discomfort. If this happens, you'll need surgery to remove the ruptured implant. A new implant can likely be inserted at the same time."
"If a saline breast implant ruptures, the implant will deflate — causing the affected breast to change in size and shape. The leaking saline solution will be absorbed by your body without posing any health risks, but you'll probably need surgery to remove the silicone shell. A new implant can likely be inserted at the same time."
After reading both of these explanations, I have come to a decision...SALINE! It seems to have the least issues to deal with, and that's what I'm looking for. Neither option lasts a lifetime, so I know I'm looking at another surgery, ten or more years down the road to replace it. In the meantime, I hope you never see me looking lopsided. If you do, it'll mean I've deflated and I really don't want that to happen!
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